Friday, June 28, 2013

5 on Friday

Linking up again!!

1. I'm afraid that we are entering the "Terrible almost 15 month" zone. J is a happy, sweet and uber curious little boy, until you tell him "no". Then, he pitches the biggest fits you ever saw. It's unreal. Kicking, whining, rolling on the Thankfully B and I are on the same page and we actively ignore the fits. It has seemed to work, thus far. If he's like this now, I can't wait to see what he's like at two! Not.

my happy guy

Suggestions/tips/tricks on dealing with this are welcomed! Apparently, there's not a boarding school for toddlers. Ha!

2. I love that we have a pool "membership" (it's a perk for being an FOP mbr) but pool time+ toddler= LOTS of work. We took Jack last night and it took us longer to pack/load/unload/load/change than we actually got to swim. It's unreal how much stuff a little guy needs for the pool.

-ear plugs
-ear bandit to keep his plugs in
-sun shirt
-swim shoes
-swim diaper (we use a reusable one)
-change of clothes

It's a job y'all, just to go swimming! Totally worth it, but still a job!

3.  I'm obsessed with following several cute stores on instagram. I purchased a cute dress from Dandy Lion Boutique (out of AL) and was super impressed with their customer service. I received a handwritten thank you card. Now, that's proper {Southern} service! I really wish I had an unlimited budget for more of their clothes.

This dress needs to be in my closet. Pronto! I'm not even sure where I'd wear it, but I needs it.

4. My goal to eat cleaner hasn't really been all that successful. I was so impressed Sunday because we grilled out and ate super clean! I thought we could totally do this clean eating thing. But....then Ben made us s'mores for dessert! Processed foods are the devil, y'all! ;)

5. My skin is ridiculous. I know it's hormonal (after the m/c), but it is driving me nuts. I'm sick of having pimples. I've never had acne, so I'm even more annoyed that I'm getting it now. I think it may be time to visit the good ole dermatologist. Ugh.

Happy weekend y'all!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Tuesday Tidbits

My days are so jumbled, I'm not exactly sure it is actually Tuesday!

1. Jack is feeling SOOOOO much better! I am so relieved. He is still not eating much or really drinking his full cup, but he is eating and drinking. Progress. We are definitely encouraging him to drink more in this heat. I do not want to see him dehydrated, ever again.

You can read about his hospitalization here.

2. We finally had his one year pictures taken a couple of weeks ago. We planned it several times but he was either sick or it was raining. We even met the photographer once a month or so ago, but Jack was literally NOT in the mood. No smiles, nothing. So, she was gracious to reschedule.
obviously not full quality since it's from my fb

I have one "teaser" picture and I'm in love.

3. J is on a special Pediasure (pediasure 1.5) that is kinda pricey. A friend of a friend actually gave me the Abbott (who makes it) rep's number to see if she can give samples. I met her last weekend and she gave me not one, but FOUR cases! I was blown away. So thankful for their/her generosity!

5.  I'm not so secretly house shopping already. We haven't even listed our house yet (it's a long story) but I'm so ready to have a house of my own again. This "rental" is great and is especially great since it's free, but it is getting so small. Jack's stuff is everywhere (and he really doesn't have much), B's work stuff is everywhere and the storage is zilch. I need space!

Monday, June 24, 2013

this is the VIRUS that will never end....

What a week.

Last Sunday, Jack played and did so well all day. Not a single sign that any illness was on the horizon.

Sunday night he literally started barking like a dog while he was sleeping. I yelled at Dixie because I honestly thought it was her barking. I knew it wasn't good.

Monday: I had to wake him up at 8ish and when I grabbed him, he was burning up. I knew he was ill ill. His temperature was 102.1. I immediately called his Doctor's office and got the first available at 9.

We went and the receptionist heard his cough and said "oh wow, how long has that been going on?" Not a great sign. The Doctor heard him TWO rooms down and commented "who has croup???".  Again, not a good sign.
he played for a minute & had to rest....sad.

Diagnosis: Croup. We opted for a steroid shot instead of oral steroids in hopes to expedite the healing process. It's a virus, so no antibiotics would help.

Monday evening he seemed to perk up a tad. He ate a few bites, but nothing great.

Tuesday: he threw up twice and had one runny diaper. He spiked a fever of 101.4 and was just not feeling well. I called the Dr's after hours number and fell asleep until they called back.

Wednesday: the Nurse called (I guess they missed my call, which is frustrating) and instructed me to wake him up (at this time, he was asleep for 12.5 hours) and see if he had a wet diaper. He did. She said they were giving him until 12 noon to see if he had another one. She wanted us to push fluids because at this time he was refusing his cups of milk or pedialite. He was very lethargic-not playing much at all.

We pushed as much as we could and he did not have a wet until 1ish. At 3 o'clock, the Nurse/Dr informed us that we should go to the ER to get replacement fluids. Great.

We took him to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital and were seen immediately. Four nurses triaged him and two hooked up his IV. It was extremely fast but we literally felt like we were more of a number.  He got his dosage of fluids and then we were discharged, just like that. The nurse said "do you feel comfortable going home?" I thought the fluids would have helped, so I said yes. She told me to follow up with his Doctor the next day.
ER getting fluids

He threw up (a tad) on the way home, but did perk up a bit. We both thought we were on the upswing.

Thursday: I made an appointment for his follow up at 1:15. Ben was off, so I went into work that morning.

I got home at 1 to pick them up for J's appointment and Ben's face told it all. Ben was very concerned. Jack literally slept ALL day. Ben had to force J to drink FOUR ounces of pedialite. Looking at my child so sick made me cry. I knew something had to be done, because it was serious.

We went to the Doctor and he was weighed. He lost a significant amount of weight. For any child it's not good, but for a child with Failure To Thrive, it's especially bad.

The Dr was VERY concerned. She was not happy with the way were dismissed at the ER either. She knew that our son was gravely ill and apparently was only going to get worse.

She made the tough decision to admit him to the hospital. I cried because I was RELIEVED that my son would finally get help.

The hospital he was admitted to is where my Mom works, so I knew he would get excellent care. His Doctor called and got us squared away and we were off to room 428.

We arrived at the hospital and the awesome nurse and tech instantly greeted us and took us to his room. They took his vitals and we waited a tad to get his IV started. They took him to another room to get that started. He was "the poster child for IVs" as his Nurse stated!
The sweet tech holding him after his IV (nurse behind her)

Since he would not drink anything, they brought him a popsicle. He LOVED it. An hour or so later, his nurse came back in and had to prick his finger again. His blood sugar was really low and they had to recheck it every so often.
resting on dada

napping on Momma

Friday morning stroll around the floor

the only time TV watching is okay!

trying jello for the first time....he wasn't a huge fan!

His blood work showed that his potassium, sodium, and blood sugar were all very low. Not surprising, but definitely something we had to fix. It explained why he was so lethargic and "drunk" when he walked. It was evident to everyone that he was sick and needed be in the hospital.

After 25 hours of IV fluids (some with potassium), 5 popsicles, a few apple sauce pouches, several blood draws and a chest x-ray.....his levels were finally all in the normal range and he was finally able to be discharged on Friday evening.

waiting on his last meal before we could leave
As soon as his IV was removed, he was back to his bouncy self. He still gets tired quicker than usual and has been running a low grade temp, but he is finally getting back to his sweet, into-everything, playful self.

We go back for his (hopefully last) follow up appointment today.

 I hope and pray that we never, ever see our child so sick again.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

throw back thursday: our wedding day


We said I do: 4.12.08!

Looking back on our wedding day still makes me smile. I had the time of my life. Ben was so hung over from the night-before-imprompto-bachelor party, but he was a trooper! (I'm thankful that NObody told me about him being sick until after...not something to worry the bride about!)

Wedding Location:

Holy Rosary Catholic Chuch: my parents were married here 30+ years ago and it was important for me to get married there too! I hope we're as blessed as they are.

Time: 7 PM: I wanted an evening wedding because it was more "formal"! I'm not a formal person but whatever!

The wedding took thirty or so minutes because we did NOT have a mass. My Dad and his Mom are not Catholic, so I didn't want to force them through all of that!

My nephew (then almost 2) escorting my Granny!
Walking down with my dad!
My cousin, our good friend and my parents read the readings/gospel. My Uncle Tim played the piano and sang the one and only "solo". I can still hear his beautiful voice (he passed away that Sept). We had a trumpet and two violinist. 

We had 3 groomsmen and bridesmaids. ZERO flower girls or ring bearers. Personally, I think they take away from the wedding.

before my sash was added


We took a trolley to the Embassy Suites in Nashville.

my SIL and Brother!

I wanted butter cream, simple, elegant. I got it! It is from Homestyle baker in Antioch, TN. Ben's cake was actually brownies, since I always made him some when he came home.
 The cake topper is actually made out of chocolate! We joked and called it our "f'in chocolate"!!

Food:  we had stations (carving, pasta etc) that were a huge hit. I barely ate a plate, but the food I ate was good!

all set up!
Open bar: wine, beer, and tea (I had my own special bottle of wine that was awesome!!!) and I believe softdrinks. I only drank wine, b/c aint nobody got time for soft drinks! ha!


We danced the night away! Our first dance was to "At last" and my dad's dance was "I loved her first". B's mom is Baptist and doesn't dance. We played "Your momma don't dance" for her!! :)

I forgot my garter, so we made one out of tulle!
custom m&m's

Things I would DO differently:

-Hire a different photographer. I used a family friend and while he was fun, his work wasn't that great. I truly believe you get what you pay for!

- Elope! Ha! Looking back, I wish we had taken the money and put it towards our first house. Or maybe had a smaller wedding and used the other $ for house.

-Eaten before we were announced to our friends. My dad toasted and asked for our friends to give us time to eat, but of course there were a few that didn't wait! I know it's rude not to want to mingle, but we hadn't eaten since that morning and were huuuungry!

-Taken a honeymoon after. We packed up my entire life and moved to Memphis the following day. I then started my job the day after we moved. Yeah, not fun. Never again.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013


I'm sure I will eat my words one day soon, but the young toddler stage, to me, has been the most fun thus far! Jack is so active, vocal (even if he only knows 4 words) and just plain fun. I'm seriously loving experiencing everything with him.

He's had a ton of "firsts" these past few months:

1. Haircut

His hair was getting crazy long and in his eyes/ears. It was time. Ben and I debated (briefly) whether or not we wanted to grow it out long. Truthfully, I like little boys with short hair and was shocked that B even suggested it. B is a (former) Marine who hasn't had his hair longer than an inch in years. was important that Jack go to Ben and his dad's barber. I obliged, as long as I could go the first visit.

Jack did not like the scissors, one bit. He did, however, like the clippers. Go figure!

He instantly looked like a toddler. {insert sad momma face here}

2. Chopsticks!

We found a local Japanese/sushi place that we have really enjoyed. The first time we went solo and the second we took Jack. Ben was stationed in Japan for a year, so he is one with the chopstick. I, however, can't use them to save my life! Ben decided to feed Jack using the chopsticks. Jack LOVED it. As soon as B would stop, Jack wanted more!!

J also loved our waitress. He stared at her the entire time we were eating (as she walked around).

3. First time staying with someone else.

I had a dentist appointment Friday and J didn't feel well the night before, so he didn't go to school. I called my friend Sheena to see if she could watch him for an hour and she graciously said yes. I dropped him off and he acted like he wanted to cry. I was almost done with my appointment when I recieved a text from her stating "He NEVER cried!"

When I showed up, he was playing and loving on Ms. Sheena! Love her.

He also went to the church nursery this Sunday, for the first time! He was a tad reluctant to go to the lady, but I received ZERO pages on the pager!! She said he was perfect and he even colored his dada a card!

So thankful!

. Carousel ride!

Sheena has a membership to our zoo. We debated on getting one too, but decided to wait another year. Anyway, she invited us to the "members only event" last weekend. They had a free carousel rides and bounce houses. I put Jack on the cheetah and as soon as it started to move, his face lit up! He loooooved it. Did not want to stop.

4. Croup.

Jack, unfortunately, was diagnoses with the blasted Croup virus yesterday. He started barking on Sunday night and as soon as I picked him up from his bed on Monday, I knew he had a fever. 102.1. Poor guy. The doctor gave him a steroid shot and we've been keeping him hydrated. He slept the majority of the day. I hate seeing him so sick. 

I'm so excited to see what more "firsts" we get to experience with this little guy! He makes my heart happy.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

14 months of Jack!

I'm not doing the monthly stats/pictures now that he's one, but figured I could do one every-so-often to help remember the details!

At 14 months....

You weigh roughly 19 pounds and are well over 30 inches tall.

You do not like to eat. At all. You do (for the most part) like yogurt and any crunchy/snack type food. You're still on Pediasure 1.5 and drink it 4 times a day. You're obsessed with drinking water, which is great but not great at the same time (fills ya up with out calories). You like drinking water out of mom's bottle and straw!!

You are definitely a little Fish! You love bath time, the dogs' water bowl, the water fountain at school and the pool...basically you love water!

You have 7.5 teeth and seem to get a new one weekly. Not fun!

You sleep from 8 (sometimes earlier, but we try not to go too much later) until 7-7:30. Some days you let Mom sleep in until almost 9 and the Angels sing! ;) You do take a nap at school from 12-2.

You're transitioning to the "toddler" class at school and so far seem to be doing great. I think your Mom had a harder time with the change than you did!

Your favorite toys are the airplane, airplane propeller push toy, cars and the big ball! You love the swing on the play set.
hopefully your passengers don't get sick!

You are obsessed with shoes and will bring me yours to put on as soon as you wake up. Your mom swears you said "I got new shoes" the other day! Swears! You also really like to brush your own hair with Mom's hair brush! Whatever works, right?!

trying hard to put your shoes on!

You have the sweetest personality and love to laugh. You like people, but usually study them for a while before you warm up to them!

You looooove your dogs. You can say "Dixie" now too! You love to sit by her (and climb on her too) and relax by laying on her. Thankfully, she (most of the time) doesn't mind!

mix matched pj's and shoes....ignore the stained ottoman, it's been thru the ringer!

You are definitely in the fun phase and we are loving every minute! You're the best son a Mom could want!

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Splish splash....

Jack is obsessed with splashing water (dog bowl, bath tub), so I figured he'd love the pool. I decided to take him to the pool (we have access to the FOP pool here) this weekend to see what he thought. He loved it!

Unfortunately Ben had to work, so we went with our friend Kelly! It was a perfect day (not to hot) and we all had a great time.

So excited!

 The pools are salt water (yay!) and apparently Jack wanted to "drink" it! He would splash the water and open his mouth to catch the water. Silly.

He also put his face in the water several times (on his own) and held his breath like he's been swimming all of his life. I'm hoping he does as well in swim lessons.
not happy to be out and that his bucket broke!

I'm so glad we have a go-to pool this summer. It's rarely crowded with has a changing area and full fridge (for food/drinks etc)! I can totally see us picnicking and having a lot of fun for years to come!

If you need us this summer, we'll be poolside!

Sunday, June 2, 2013

the saddest day of my life.

This is one post I never wanted to write. In fact, I've debated on whether or not to even write it. This blog is my journal, so I want to document the good and the bad.

On May 15th, I was surprised to find out that I was pregnant!! B and I were not really trying, but obviously not-not trying. We were very shocked, but so excited! We immediately began planning our lives with two kids under two. I immediately took two more tests, just to make sure!

Since my cycles are whack, there wasn't a way for me to determine an accurate EDD. I made an appointment for the first Doctor's visit for two weeks later. They would do an u/s to determine my due date.

I immediately began having all the pregnancy symptoms: heart burn, nausea, bloating (I apparently do this the first few weeks), frequent potty trips, weird cravings (sour cream and onion ruffles, which I rarely eat) and I was  extremely tired. I was so looking forward to watching my bump grow. I immediately began talking to our "sesame" and imagining what his/her face would be like. I imagined how close he/she would be with her/his big brother. Ben was so sweet and would kiss "sesame" hello/goodbye and was all around thrilled.

We told Jack but he was more impressed with the actual pregnancy test (not the gross part!) than being a big brother!

I instantly fell in love with him/her.

We decided to wait until after my appointment to tell our parents and til after my 12 weeks appointment to tell the rest. I began searching Pinterest for fun ways to tell our friends.

Fast forward to Thursday, May 23, 2013. The absolute worst day in my entire life.

I began spotting that afternoon. I called my Doctor and the Nurse said some spotting was normal. She told me if it began period-like, to call back immediately. I spotted of and on for a few hours, praying it was okay. I was sitting at my desk when the cramping started. I immediately knew that my worst fear was becoming reality. I called the nurse back and she (without any way to 100% confirm) told me my fears were most likely happening.

I lost our baby.

The Nurse wanted to talk to my Doctor to get a course of action.  When she called back, she was beyond compassionate and informative. She confirmed with my Doctor my plan-of-action and was so genuine in her concern and sympathy.

Friday, May 24, I went  in for blood work to check my hormone level. It was 1145, which definitely meant I was pregnant. I went back in Tuesday to re-check to see if my #'s went up or down. They came back 259, which confirmed a miscarriage. I will go back until it gets to zero.

I went to speak with my Doctor and she made me love her even more. She was so informative and caring. She reassured me that there was nothing I did to cause it and we discussed what will happen the next go around. I felt so much better leaving her office.

There are no words to describe the pain, and I'm not just talking physically. I immediately began questioning why and if there was anything that I did to cause this. Did I lift J up too many times etc etc. I also prayed for God to reveal His reasons and to help give me peace. I know He will in due time, so I will do my best to wait.

Logically, I know there is nothing I did to cause it. I know it was most likely a chromosomal imbalance or something else that didn't line up just right. I'm "thankful" (for a lack of a better word) that it happened earlier in the pregnancy versus later.'s hard. I'm sad that I don't get the opportunity to experience the joy of bringing this child into the world. I'm angry, hurt, and just down right sad.  I know it will take time (being at the dr's office with pregnant women did not help) and prayer, but that I will be okay. I'm already dreading January 2014.

There are two beautiful quotes that sum my feelings exactly:

"I may have only carried you for a short moment, but you will always live in my heart." 

"She wasn't just expecting a baby...she was expecting the rest of his/her life...."

For now, life must go on. I continue to thank God for my blessings, especially for my sweet Jack. I will continue to pray for future blessings and will always hold a special place in my heart for our little Sesame.